I would rather be happy than have a man tell me I’m right.  

I remember the first time I was expecting a man to concede the point. It was with an old acquaintance of my dad, whom I had not met before. However, everyone was on good terms. I was a high schooler back then. I remember we had gotten into a long winded discussion in the car. He was driving and my father was in the passenger seat. I was sitting in the back seat with his daughter who was at least a year older than me. We had struck a point in the debate where I had made my point and further argument would mean backtracking. 

And then, there was a change of  subject. It was abrupt, obvious, and confusing. My friend next to me knew exactly what was going on. She confessed to me that men never admit they are wrong. And then she continued to talk to her father and expressed her confidence in his point of view. 

What struck me was that I was willing to say that another person could be right if it was justified. Therefore, after I had made my case, I was expecting others to see my justifications just as I could see their justifications. But I reasoned in the end, there could be only one right answer. And it should not matter who says it. 

It should not matter if it’s a girl who got the answer right. After all, these men were perfectly willing to hear a young educated girl’s thoughts on the matter at hand. They certainly humored us. I’m sure they felt better as progressive men. But if I did happen on to an innovative, effective conclusion, why did they feel like they could not support it?

If that man did not concede the point, he certainly followed a precedent set by previous men. The man in the driver’s seat that day supported the precedent to not take this little girl’s words too seriously in front of my own father. So the smarter girl was his own daughter who already knew how to say things at exactly the right time. 

This opened my eyes to the real world. 

So this is the future?

But, I would rather be happy than have a man tell me I’m right. 

That fight is not worth fighting.